In my years of parenting I have determined three things for certain.
- Your wife cannot tell you, nor will she always agree with you, on the best way to handle problems with your kids.
- Being a good father will never make you popular.
- Your kids will undoubtedly let you know when you're doing something right !
When they grow up and make the winning touchdown, or win the "Little Miss Precious" award and the cameras are on them, the first damned thing they will say is "Hi Mom!"
That's OK, even tho we taught the boy how to catch the football, and we are the ones that told our little girls how precious they were from the moment they were born resulting in their accolades.
I grew up having no reason to like my dad. He was always the bad guy. The most dreaded words to come from my angry mother's mouth were "Just wait until your father gets home!" We all knew that death was arriving at precisely 5:20 pm and that we must get our affairs in order. As certainly as Monica Lewenski is the world's best known banana peeler, the old man would walk in, slam the black metal lunchbox down on the table and receive his orders from Mom. He would then take off his 10 inch wide, 7 foot long leather belt and climb the stairs to perform his fatherly duties. When it was all said and done my little brother and I would be sniveling on the edges of our beds and blame each other for getting a whoopin', and then we'd fight it out.
Funny, but Dad never once objected to us beating the hell out of each other.
Come to think of it neither did Mom...
Therefore I resolved at a very early age that I would never grow up to be like my father. That I would never whip my children. So far I have pretty well at keeping that resolution. I did however also resolve that when I grew up I would bring expensive toys home to my kids every night. That concept however never seemed to make it to fruition.
For me the hardest part of being a good Dad is having to do it on the same planet with their mother. We have yet to agree in 30 years the correct way to raise a child. She gets all hormonal and wants them killed, and I want to give them a few bucks and send them to the mall. Not exactly on the same page.
So, exactly what IS a good dad to do? I think it really comes down to one simple thing.
Be a better Dad than your own Father was.
It's really all we have to go by. Learn from your own father, improve upon it, and hope your kids do the same.
I know it seems simple, but your own father is really all the training you will get, and as you get older you will invariably made the sad discovery that your parents weren't perfect. That they were people too and that they made mistakes. It is a hard pill to swallow but it's true. If you take what you learned from them, and improve on it, then you have moved forward.
Who knows, maybe somehow, someday, in some far and distant time your future legacy will be that you were the keystone in the ultimate design of the perfect daddy.
Until then grit your teeth, take a deep breath, and go teach the boy how to catch a football and make his momma proud.
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